Most of us do best when we take the social role that comes naturally to our gender. These natural roles are different, and also complementary.
Why do we have different gender roles?
Most social mammals have different gender roles, and bodies that reflect them. With gorillas, for example, males protect the band, so they’re larger and more aggressive than females. Humans follow suit, because we have large brains and eat meat.
Humanity’s greatest adaptation was evolving a large brain. Large brains are very useful, but they’re also energy-hungry, so during our evolution we needed energy-dense meat to fuel them. Also, large-brained human babies are difficult to birth and raise, so we were born increasingly “premature,” needing years of care.
These two characteristics of our species—meat-eating and a long childhood—led us to develop divergent gender roles:
| MEN: HUNTING/FIGHTING | WOMEN: GATHERING/TENDING |
| Men provided band members with the high-calorie meat needed to fuel their physical and mental activities. | Women nurtured children during the long childhood needed for their physical and cognitive development. |
| To hunt with weapons, protect their kills, and protect their bands, men evolved more upper-body strength and aggressive capacity. | To bear, nurse, and raise big-brained human babies in bands, women evolved wider hips, more body fat, and a more agreeable nature. |
How are our natural roles expressed today?
How do we take our natural gender roles today? Mostly in the work we gravitate toward:
Ranging afield and making plans to kill game, men became more independent and structured. That’s why they tend to found companies and become builders.
Interacting in domestic groups, women became more sensitive and relationship-oriented. That’s why they tend to arrange play dates and become teachers.
Things go better when we take these roles.
Most men excel when they can protect and provide, lead and guide. Most women shine when they can nurture and tend, advise and mend.
Adhering to these natural gender roles helps the vast majority of us lead happy and fulfilling lives. There’s a reason that men lead on the dance floor, while women do the beautiful steps.
There are exceptions, which should be respected and valued, but they are just that—exceptions—to a very old and still active rule.
